Kids Can Be So Cruel

I'm scared my kids will get picked on at school.  It happened to me.  It happened to my husband.  If it's in the genes, they're in trouble!  I'm sure most kids get picked on at one time or another, some worse than others.  But oh it hurts!  And it hurts just as much if not more for the parent to know their child is going through something like that.

Grade six was my year to be picked on.  I remember so vividly one day in the gym change room.  All of the "popular" girls were calling me teacher's pet and being so mean.  I don't remember a lot of the other specifics but it got to the point that it made me sick.  I'm sure it was a mental thing.  One day I wasn't feeling well - I went to my teacher's desk to ask to go to the bathroom.  On my way out of the classroom I remember everything going black and running into someone's desk.  The next thing I knew I was sitting on the classroom floor feeling like I was going to throw up.  One of the nicer girls told me later that it looked like I was just laying on the floor looking at the ceiling for a while so I guess I passed out.  After that day I was "sick" and didn't go to school for six weeks.  My parents had me to doctor's appointments, doing tests, eliminating foods from my diet.  At one appointment the doctor asked me if it bothered me that my mom was at work all day - did I want her at home.  I suppose they were looking for mental reasons that I would be sick.  The big question they should have asked was "how are things at school"?  My parents had no clue what I was going through - for whatever reason I guess I didn't feel like I could tell them. 

That experience affected me so much that well into adulthood I would be wary of people who were my friends.  I would think they were just pretending.  That they didn't really like me.  That they said stuff about me behind my back.  Deep down I knew it wasn't true but subconsciously I felt it.  I still have to fight it off sometimes.

And so I work extra hard at making sure my kids have friends.  That they know how to socialize and compromise and include others and the list goes on.  (And why is it so hard for them to figure these things out!)  Ever since my first child started preschool I've been on top of arranging play dates and getting to know the parents of their friends.  I know there will be heart ache along the way - I just hope it's not too plentiful.